I do have an apple though...

It's that time of day/week again where I waffle on aimlessly for a few minutes to pretend to myself that I'm doing something.

Once I get paid I swear, I SWEAR, I am going to buy a delicious can of fizzy pop. The worst thing about my pockets at the moment is that they do not contain enough money to fulfill this ambition already. Apparently, at some point Someone Who Is In Charge decided that existing in Central London wasn't hateful enough and made things so that 47p (1x 20p, 2x 10p, 3x 2p, 1x 1p) was not enough for a can of lovely carbonated drink. This means reliance on the water cooler and the various teas available in the little kitchen bit.

What the fuck is it about Michael McIntyre that gets him so much work? Having seen him rise in profile from his early radio/tv panel show appearances and spots on stand-up shpwcases as clearly the least funny participant, it is with utter bafflement and incredulity that I behold his smug straddling of the pinnacle of popular comedy.

He has a plummy voice. That's it. He has a plummy voice and that seems to be acceptable as a substitute for decent material. Every single joke he makes in his 'Roadshow' is agonizingly banal, his delivery staggeringly self-satisfied. He also has a face that looks like an 80s animatronic model of a gameshow host. It's a shame that he has some really good stand-ups on the aforementioned Roadshow, it gets very tiresome skipping through his parts on iplayer.

Wow, didn't realise I had that much venom in me. This is a bit like therapy, but free and even more self indulgent.

AAAGGGHHH, staring up from my desk is a picture of Hazel Blears. I hadn't realised this, she must have been staring at me for at least 45 minutes. I am distressed. From now on every time I go into a room I'm going to check for pictures of Hazel Blears, checking again every 25 minutes to make sure none have crept in. I have no idea what I'd do if I found any, probably shriek on horror, like I am now.

Good night (afternoon) and good luck (in avoiding Hazel Blears) x